I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
