I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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