Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
