At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A+ Viking dick
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