so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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