shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
