giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
