U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
