I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
