i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize