You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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