WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
