I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
