is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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