I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize