Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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