I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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