you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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