So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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