and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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