My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
