There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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