i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
