also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
