He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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