I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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