that's an acceptable place to lick
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
