If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize