Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
