I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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