Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
