i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
