clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
