Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
vagina is talking i cant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
