Please, let me fuck your mom
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
