Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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