whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
