guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
