Dual....:-)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
