new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize