I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
