This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
