Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
