Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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