i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Actions speak louder than pants.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
