Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
