sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
