I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
