They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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