Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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