Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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