He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He passed out mid-signature
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need a beard to bite.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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