Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
