Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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