The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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