Buhtt sex?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
