He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
