none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
