When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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