yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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