I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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