Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
