dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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