I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
