We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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